A sportin' shame

Amid all the fanfare over Abhinav Bindra winning India's first Individual Gold ever, I was wondering if the officials of Indian sport would dare take any credit for it. But i think even they would realise here, that they really have no reason to. Abhinav may have been talented, but because of his affluent background, he was able to command himself the best facilities around. He could train in Germany, and even have a shooting range constructed at his home, by his wealthy dad. It seems that his personal range was much better than the national facility available to our shooters. And there lies the basis of India's sad show at sporting events such as the Olympics. There may be many others who could reach the heights, but because of the gross national negligence we afford them, they fade away. I remember when Jaspal Rana shot his way to a world record once. However, lack of funds and sponshorship resulted in him fading away. There was even the embarassing situation, where, at a major championship, the gun provided by our sports body, was defective. He left the field in tears.

But then again, whose fault is this sorry state of affairs in Indian sports? I've come across a lot of people blaming cricket and cricketers for the neglect bestowed on other sports in India. This, i feel, is a very feeble and shallow excuse. Cricket is in the position it is today because the people running the game knew how to preserve it for the future and popularise it. There was a time when India ruled the roost in Hockey. Winning a Gold in the Olympics in Hockey seemed always a foregone conclusion. Until, one day it snapped. What happened? Similar to what happened to the West Indies and cricket, the wise men in charge just did not plan ahead. They figured the golden goose will keep laying eggs, when, in reality, the game moved forward and India got left behind. Astro turf became the norm, and India just did not seem to know how to cope.

India was not too bad at football either, atleast on an Asian level. They had even managed to qualify for the World Cup held in Brazil in 1950, where they had to decline, because, as always, of a lack of funds. Again, today, football in India is in a sorry state. A sad thing when you consider that India, with its billion people, and millions under the poverty line, would be an ideal place where the simplest and most beautiful game can take hold, if really given a push.

If you look at cricket, last year, after the 50 over world cup debacle, when India were disgraced, there was a fear that cricket would go hockey's way, with many saying that the Indians will not be able to cope with the new kind of power play that teams like Australia were plying. Well, thankfully, that fear has proved unfounded atleast uptil now. The selectors put together a brilliant and young new team with a charismatic captain (M.S Dhoni) and sent the team to the T20 world cup, where hardly anyone gave them a chance. And we all know what happened next.

My point being that, you can hardly blame cricket and cricketers for hogging the limelight. They have toiled and planned for it, and probably deserve their success.

But what about the other sports? Well, probably the whole system would need an overhaul. We would definitely need some fresh faces at the top of the boards, and some strict timelines set for their stints and re elections, so that they would be forced to think out of the box and improve the state of affairs. Lets face it. Given a chance, this country and its teeming millions can definitely throw up atleast a couple of world champions with some regularity.

By the way, isn't hockey supposed to be our national game? Funny how I've never played it or even seen it being played in any school... And that, i guess, is where it all starts...

The grass is greener...

Just finished reading Karan Bajaj's 'Keep off the Grass'. The grass here, of course, is not a reference to the harmless variety we find in our fields, but is the marijuana that college students invariably seem to get into. I usually dont like the books by bussinessmen or IITians turned authors ( I like to call them pop authors, making crass novels for popular acclaim.). Chetan Bhagat is a name which comes to mind. Didn't like his first two books too much and haven't bothered reading the third one.

However, this book, by Karan Bajaj (alumni of IIM Bangalore) is definitely a good read. Although it does get a bit pretentious at times, with its comparison of how Indians are different from the Americans. Despite this, its a charming book, with its simple language, delicious wit and at times, genuinely philosophical discussions. Anybody who has experienced the familiar high of getting drunk or stoned during their student years, will understand the deep discussions on life, love and virtually everything that can come up between guys.

The story is basically about another confused desi, Samrat Ratan. All of 25 years old, and already earning half a million bucks as a hotshot investment banker on Wall Street, he suddenly feels that he is living out someone else's life. He decides to quit and go to India to 'find' himself. For this, he decides to enroll in the Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore for the MBA. He figures it wouldn't be too difficult for him. However, once he reaches, he realises that the pressure of the IIM is getting to him.

Despite this, he makes some great friends there. There is Shine Sarkar, the pot smoking, perpetually high IItian, who effortlessly gets to the top of the class, and who is Samrat's chief partner in crime. Then there is Vinod, who has been scarred by his experiences, fighting in Kargil. The trio embark on a mulltitude of adventures, some downright crazy. Soon Samrat is doing things he never imagined he would be. But would he be able to keep his wits and graduate?

The book will deifinetely make you, in parts, laugh, think and retrospect. Go get it!

The Math of it all...

I recently came across a funny pseudo philosophical explanation of God. As i am something of an agnostic, the whole concept of God and His doings remain a perpetual mystery to me. Is He there? If He is there, then why does so much sh*t keep happening around us and everywhere? If He just allows good and bad things to happen, does that then make him any better than a dictator, to whom we have to keep showing our reverence by praising and worshipping him? That aspect of things has never appealed to me anyways. After all, i dont think true faith is something to be made of as a friggin public display.

Anyways, this funny book i was reading. One of the protagonists comes up with his own explanation of God and why so much Sh*t happens. It seems he created all life, and left everything to be governed as a mathematical equation. Like how both sides of the equation should be equal always. Pain and suffering to equal joy. Poverty in equal measure as wealth. Love and hate. So basically, everything plays out to an equation. If there is a poor labourer here who struggles for his livelihood every meal, there will be a fat rich corporate on the other side of the world, as well as everyone caught in between. If there is pain at one time, there will be limitless joy another time. And this goes for the soul also it seems. Depending on this life, the next one may balance it out!

Well, i dunno about how seriously you can take that, but in its own way, i felt that it was a funny but inventive way of looking at things! Especially for the skeptics (including me) who may always be wondering...

Cry Freedom

Richard Attenborough is a director whose name is synonymous with the Academy Award winning 'Gandhi', back in '83. I didn't know of any other work of his til i recently came across 'Cry Freedom', released back in 1987 (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092804/). While it may not have been as popular as his Gandhi, it is every bit as gripping, if not more, and was released when South Africa still had not got rid of the shackles of apartheid. While most movies on social issues come out after the event had happened, i guess this one released during the time.

The story is based on real life characters and events. The book on which the movie was based, was written by Donald Woods (Kevin Kline), a journalist who used to work in South Africa until the end of the seventies. It traces the origins of Woods friendship with the charismatic black leader Steve Biko, who is wonderfully portrayed by Denzel Washington. I cannot imagine a better choice for the role. Washington exudes a natural charm and screen presence, which Biko's character required.

While initially, Woods was against what he felt was black racism being spread by Biko, after meeting the man, he could not help being drawn into his struggles and ideas. The bond between them grows stronger, and Woods and his family realise and become more sensitive to the plight of the people Biko represents.

However, finally, tragedy strikes, and Woods must now concentrate on escaping from South Africa, with his book, so that he can get it published and let the outside world know what is going on. The second half of the movie is a gripping tale of his escape from South Africa, along with his family, and will keep you on tenterhooks.

There are some deliciously humorous dialogues too. The scene between Biko and the lawyer in the courtroom is an example.

Lawyer: Do you advocate violence?
Biko: I advocate a confrontation.
Lawyer: Well, isn't that violence, Mr. Biko?
Biko: Not necessarily. You and I are having a confrontation now, but i dont see any violence.

However, there are moments that bring you back to the horrors that pervaded the country before better sense prevailed. The scene where the army opens fire on a protest by school children is gut wrenching and heartbreaking.

This is definitely a must watch. I would suggest those not familiar with Attenborough's work, do take time out for this. There are movies which make a lot of money. And there are movies which make lives. I would any day prefer the latter.

The Inheritance of a New Beginning

Sometimes u just gotta let GO....
There are people in your life who you just feel they have to be there. Throughout. As a presence through all ur high and low points. Or you feel more like, they will be there. They become a part of you as urself, that it becomes very natural.

Until one day it comes crashing down. You realise that it may just have been an illusion. A trick of the mind to anchor your faith onto something or someone. (I guess for an agnostic like myself, it is not such a tough thing to happen). Then comes the tough part.

How do you reconcile yourself to the fact that the anchor you thought will always be there, may just not be what you thought. That fairytales may just not happen. That you may have been fooling yourself into believing this illusion.

Two things can happen. You can allow the claws of jealousy and hatred and anger wrap themselves around you and sulk. Or you can get on with it. Accept that you have also made mistakes in life and move on, remembering the good moments and that nobody or nothing is perfect.

I guess i have in the past allowed too much of the former to get the better of me. Not this time. This time, I'll actually try to be the dude. ;-)

And... as the bard says... therein lies a long story.

Me and Myself

There comes times in life when you introspect and retrospect. Or maybe a lot of times. You look at yourself in a mirror of your mind with the eyes of your childhood and you sometimes see a total stranger staring back at you. And you wonder, is that really me? You realise you have gone far from the person you once were or who you once wanted to be and there may not be any looking back.

Well i guess i'm just trying to say that this is pretty much what i have felt on occasions. Or on a lot of occasions. Have i gone too far away from the person i once was or i once wanted to be? I sometimes imagine myself as a kid looking through the looking glass at the older version of me, and i feel i probably wouldnt have recognised myself.

The other day, an old buddy of mine, from my days in DPS, Kuwait, called me up. After all the usual banter and nostalgic returns to school days, he told me, u know, i'm pretty disappointed in you. I was like, why? Well, i always thought you had more in you. You could have been somewhere man. Well, i thought i'm not exactly doing too bad right now, but i got the drift. I remembered a biology teacher i used to have during my school days. She used to think( for some reason) that i could DO something, but that i was an enigma. I remember her shouting at my parents everytime there was a parents teacher meeting, whenever she felt i was not at par.

Well, i wish i could tell her now... Sometimes, i'm an enigma to myself. But then again, what do people mean when they say they have expectations of someone? Expectations that someone will be a good person? Well, i would like to think that i'm not exactly a monster. Or is it expectations as in the yardstick of achievements that the world measures you by? Well, maybe i have disappointed myself and quite a few well wishers there. But then again, do i really want to
join that rat race?

What i would consider an achievement is satisfying your own self. Knowing truthfully within, that this is what you wanted from yourself, and that you're getting there.

Not that i think i'm there yet. Actually... there's still a long way to go.

Oranje Fever

There is no sporting event like the showcase events of football which can make me spend sleepless nights to catch the action. And Euro 2008 is right now catching my fancy in a big way. All the more so since the team i've always had a soft spot for, Holland, are finally living up to their billing of total football.
Football is a beautiful game, they say. It's also a pretty simple game. The fervour of the supporters around the world can probably not be expected by any other sport. And the Oranj team of this Euro are epitomising the beautiful game like never before(at least since i started watching). I remember rooting for an excellent Dutch team, which had the likes of Bergkamp, Kluivert, the De Boers, Davids etc, back in the world cup of '98. This was probably the last tournament where they looked like they would be deserving winners. But they had a heartbreaking loss on penalties to Brazil in the semi's.
If that was heartbreaking, fans of Oranj were in for more heartbreak in Euro 2000, which was on home soil. They thrashed the Yugoslavs in the quarters, and looked heads on for the final. That is, until they came into the great wall of Italy in the semis. Italy had a player sent off, and Holland had 2 penalties in normal time, both of which they missed. By the time the penalty shootout came, there was an air of inevitability around their defeat. Finally they scored hardly a penalty in the shooutout.
After that, i was a neutral for sometime. Right until Hollands first match against the world champs Italy in this Euro. They virtually thrashed them, with a wonderful display of passing game and counter attacking strikes. If we thought that was the best they can be, nobody told them. I am writing this the day after their match against the other world cup finalists, France. Whew!! I have never been so captivated by a teams performance in a match in a long time. If Italy had no answers, france were rendered virtually invalid by the Dutch. France did not play badly. But like the commentators said, Holland were playing football from another planet. The score was 4-1 to Holland, with all 3 strikes of theirs in the second half being good enough for goal of the tournament. My love affair with the Dutch Football team just reached fever pitch.
I dont know if they can carry this on for the length of the tournament, but i do know that if the Dutch do get eliminated on the way, it will not just be the Dutch citizens who will shed a tear.

In that way alone, they have already left a mark on this tournament.

Transgending a barrier...

I was just going through a blog of a friend recently, when i came across an article he had written regarding the eunuchs or hijras he comes across in the second class compartments of our trains. What he mentions ther, rang a bell in my mind. The fact is, while i do consider myself an extremely tolerant individual, i have to admit, even i have felt a sense of repulsion at the claps which accompany their arrival, whenever i am in a train. And i hav also been guilty of handing over loose change to them, just so that i can get rid of them.
While they do behave seemingly despicably in public, i was curious. What i have read up makes me feel that all they are doing is getting their back on a society which has given them nothing but ridicule and harassment. Most of these hijras are basically males who realising they are gay, just could not tolerate the idea of living with a woman, and, in the face of the unforgiving public, decided to castrate themselves and join one of the hijra households. Their main source of livelihood became begging and prostitution, not by choice, but because they are simply not recognised to get a job elsewhere. There are a few, though, who are born without their genitals. For the most though, they have to undergo a painful castration procedure, before they can achieve so called salvation. Through my pals blog, i came across this fascinating link regarding their existence. Do read it.

http://www.thingsasian.com/stories-photos/2022


You do wonder, and feel, for these people. India is a country based on rigid social norms and customs. The idea of even accepting a homosexual, is something people would shudder away from. I do wonder, when are we ever going to realise? To each his own..If somebody is gay, that hardly is their fault. And while i would like to believe that this is a norm only with the older generation, some experiences i have had, even with casual buddies, tells a different story. The reaction i have got from this so called younger generation, ranged from disgust to a feeling that these people should never really be allowed to roam freely.

I just hope, the next time i meet one of them on a train journey through the country, i will be able to see through my own revulsion.

Runnin' On Empty

When i signed up to run in the Pune marathon for AIDS awareness, i never expected the circus that it turned out to be. While i do agree that it was a charity event for a cause, it does get a bit frustrating when you realise most of the junta are just not interested in the 'marathon' part of the event. Of course, the main event (42.195 Kms) was goin on nearby, wher all the actual runners took part. So, what a few of us people who were actually interested in running the stretch found was that, we had to get around whole groups of people shouting and virtually partying on the roads, to actually get somewhere. This may have included dads, moms, uncles, aunties, grandmoms and granddaddies, and maybe the pet dog. And people with varying degrees of pouch around them that you wonder if they actually were planning to really run. And of course, the event hardly had a proper flag off, with the result, some people ended up startin off around a half hour after it actually began. Of course, it is also possible that a majority of the people turned up to catch the celebrities in action at the event. Salman, Sunil Gavaskar, Aarti Chabbria(man! what a babe!), and a couple of the Chak De girls... what more could the scream brigade ask for?
On the brighter side of things, me and my buddy Ab, had started practising on the road only a week or so before the run, and happily, managed to complete the near 5kms in around 25 mins with hardly any stoppages. Of course, Ab had whetted my appetite for it by proclaiming his aim of running in the Mumbai half marathon(21 kms) in january. That though remains to be seen.. though it does seem a great thing to look forward to practising for.

Now THAT would be what i call a marathon...

Hypocrisy and the Indian...

I've always wondered about this. I'm not forsaking or attacking anyone here, just something i find a bit annoying or even funny at times. You do wonder if people are like this anywhere else. The tendancy to speak or act in total discord to what is expected or what you say...
I mean, lets look at the attitude most indians have towards sex. You say the word out or start talkin anything about it frankly, they act as if we have sinned. But like i heard somewhere...man, the country has a friggin population of 1 billion! Somebody's gotta be doin it somewhere!! Or, an american pal i made recently, who wondered at the fact that talk of sex is supposed to be taboo, but how come the only thing you see when you channel surf these days on TV is skin show. And that too...pretty suggestive stuff most of the time(and you hear of actresses saying they would not kiss on screen. Most of the stuff they do on screen suggestively would anyday qualify as obscene in my book). Although i gotta admit, things are better than they used to be, i guess...
Then of course, there are the veggies or the non veggies(whichever way you choose to look at it), who are non veggie but dont eat meat on particular days of the week, coz of certain God knows what supernatural phenomena. What i cant understand is, if you do eat meat, how in the world does it make a difference if you eat it on a sunday and not on a saturday? Do the animals love being dead on a particular day and not on others? Yes, yes, i know its all got to do with beliefs, but, whatever...
Talkin of beliefs, you have graduates or people who may have studied in major universities, who would still probably come back to look at how their stars align according to some village astrologer, or to get a blessing maybe by being kicked in the head by some saint. Wonder what is the whole point of calling yourself educated. And before anybody points out that beliefs should always remain, i have to say, there is a big difference between a belief and plain stupidity.
And then of course you have the Great Indian Marriage Trick, where people talk of great love but choose brides or grooms depending on purely practical choices. I guess there is no other thing which sullies the image of what a marriage is really supposed to mean than the amazing routine activity people seemed to have made it into here. We talk of democracy and how people have to connect irrespective of religion or caste...until of course parents find out their kid wants to get married to someone from another religion or even caste. wow-ee. When are people going to realise that for interracial harmony, things have to start from a grassroot level?

Anywayz...before i vent out any further and go absolutely crazy.. i guess i'l sign off...

An Inheritance of Small Things

When i put down Kiran Desai's Booker prize winning 'The Inheritance of Loss' (last years booker winner) a strange sense of deja vu hit me. My mind went back to the last booker prize winning Indian author whose book i had read, namely, the God of Small Things (which won the booker in 1997). I wonder what it is about Indian booker winners and amazingly sad narratives. While the God of Small Things was set in a picteresque Kerala backdrop and an orthodox Christian family, Inheritance is set in Eastern India in a small village called Kalimpong. The main characters here are an old, embittered judge, who just seems to want to hide away from the world at his home at the bottom of the hill. The judge is revisited frequently by visions of his past, as a student in England, where, as a result of his low self esteem, he withdraws deeper and deeper into a shell, and virtually turns into a monster on return to India and his young wife. At his doorstep one day, arrives his grand daughter, Sai. Fate thrust her into his home, when her parents die in Russia, and she has to leave the boarding school she was staying at. Also in the narrative is the cook who has been with the judge for a long while. The narrative keeps switching between Kalimpong and the USA, where Biju, the cooks son, is struggling as an illegal immigrant to finally get himself a green card.

As i mentioned before, the book reminded me in certain ways of Arundhati Roy's modern classic. The unbearably sad family living out their almost invisible existence with little to look forward to. Inheritance also provides a backdrop to show a Gorkha uprising in the hills, which lead to a lot of bloodshed and violence. And Sai is personally and deeply affected by this. The man she had come to love, Gyan, her tutor, ends up joining the uprising and forsakes her. The climax may seem a bit abrupt for some, but for me, complemented the unbearable sadness pervading the whole book and its tone.

Not one of my favorites, but definitely worth a read...

Almighty Courage

The other day, i manage to catch a screening of 'A Mighty heart' starring Angelina Jolie. I did not know what to expect from the movie, considering that it was based on a real life incident. However, the movie was made like a taut, slick thriller, and with excellent direction. Indeed, there were times when you felt you were not so much as watchin, but were actually participating as a silent observer in the various attempts to try and get to Daniel Pearl. After the movie, as is customary for me these days, i visited IMDB to give my own rating and take a look at the message boards. A particular thread i saw there, brings me to the point of this post.

There was a post which was started with the mailer stating that he/she did not feel that Mr. Pearl was a hero, and that he actually should be blamed for putting himself and his family at such a risk, depsite knowing how dangerous it was for a person of Jewish descent as him, in these places. The responses for this varied, from those who were shocked with the writer, to those who were downright cynical...some even going so far as to say that Marianne Pearl is using her husbands death for her own ends.

As for me, i feel the above statement is one of the most insensitive things i have heard. We have to understand here that, nobody is really trying to make Pearl into a hero here. And nobody is really trying to discount the millions of other lives that may be getting lost to terrorists around the globe, by just focussing on one American murder. If one were to go by the argument that we cannot feel sorry just for one person, just because his story has been shown, while the others have not, i would like to say that, it is through these isolated stories of brutality that people can truly become aware. In my opinion Daniel Pearl was a hero, if simply for the fact that he believed in doing his job to the best of what he could, despite the fact that he probably knew that there was always a danger. I have heard somewhere, courage is not the absense of fear, its the knowledge that there is something more important than your fear. And Marianne Pearl is a bigger hero. She chose to make her husbands story heard, and in a very impartial manner. While i have not read the book, if the movie is anything to go by, we would realise that she herself says (in this case, Angeline Jolie) that thousands do get killed by terrorists, including a lot of people from the local population. And the movie itself portrays characters like the Inspector(Irrfan Khan, in a wonderfully realistic portrayal), good men, who just want to do their job right and just. If nothing else, this is one thing i greatly admired about the movie. The absence of stereotyping of any particular community. I have heard that the lady now travels to war torn places and tries to get other peoples stories heard. Definitely a hero, if i have ever heard of one.

Getting back to some of the lighter aspects of the movie, a lot of the filming took place in Pune itself(Aundh, to be precise), because the producers felt that certain areas of this city could pass off as Karachi. I have to admit, i had an element of curiosity because of this.

So, finally...is it worth it? Does it get across what it wants to say? I would say...a big resounding YES...or better yet, get the book. I sure am planning to.

Bhagat Singh opines...

The past weekend, i met up with a friend who used to work in my office, and who has now gone on to better things(good for him! :-) ). While it was wonderful to catch up after a long time, one of the things i love to do is talk about or listen to a passionate outpouring of one's ideals, especially if it is of interest to me. And that afternoon, sitting in the pleasant Pune weather, that is what we did. It started of as a discussion on religious beliefs and atheism, and ended up into one covering almost all aspects of Indian civilisation and beliefs. To be more precise, i did most of the listening, with genuine interest. I am pretty passionate about ideals and people i believe in, and it was refreshing to talk to someone of like mindedness, who just wanted to genuinely get his views across.

This took my mind back to earlier in the year, when the same person had sent me a link to an article by Bhagat Singh, citing his views on Atheism and why he follows it. A truly mind numbing one, in which the intelligence of the man shines through. While i am not exactly an atheist(yet!), i do have a general feeling of disillusionment and almost scorn to all practises in the name of religion and tradition. The last time i actually put together my hands and prayed to the almighty is a hazy memory by now.

Anywayz... i wanted to share the link to this fascinating article here, in the hope that people will try to read it with an open mind. Thanks, Shivs.. :-)


http://liveindianhistory.googlepages.com/bhagatsinghopines

T20...Cricket in the 21st Century...

Well...it looks like Twenty 20 is here to stay. I have to admit, i was not too excited about this latest version of the game when the idea was first floated. While i definitely am a fan of the idea of making cricket reach out to a wider audience, this at first seemed to me, to be a major compromise. I thought it would turn out to be just a slam bang fest wihtout a care given to the finer nuances of the game.I'm happy to see that i was mistaken.
I watched the final of the recently concluded T20 world cup in the frenzy atmosphere of my office campus. After a topsy turvy, and absolutely incredible game, which to me epitomised the whole spirit of this latest version of the game, India had finally prevailed over their rivals. And the place erupted. I hardly think the reactions could have been more delirious if it was the 50 over cup. After all the worries of whether India will be able to adapt to the new power game that is taking over cricket, it was refreshing to see them perform so well. Indeed if there is one thing this team showed, it is that strokeplay can be as effective in this version of the game as it is in the traditional format. And of course, it was wonderful to finally see a country other than Australia to win something!
What this tournament has shown is that T20 is a format which is not necessarily just a batsmen's game. If a bowler has the right stuff, he can make an impact. Who can forget what Vettori did against the Indians or what RP Singh did to the hosts, South Africa. And in the 20 overs, we have seen some wildly fluctuating games, with the advantage see sawing back and forth between the two teams. Add to it the fact that this was a very successful world cup from the organisational point of view. This is in stark contrast to the 50 over world cup earlier in the year in the West Indies, which was roundly critisized as an insipid affair, with amazingly bad organisation.
Come to think of it, you do wonder about the future of the 50 over game. While test cricket will always be popular among the purists and true lovers of the game, it does seem that T20 may just take away the sheen from 50 over cricket, which was anyways, in something of the doldrums. We may have to wait and watch on that front.
As for India, considering the fact that they were almost newcomers to T20 cricket, this win was both unexpected and invigorating. The young team led by Dhoni, showed remarkable presence of mind and character to hold on just when it mattered. Including the final against Pakistan, when they seemed to have let it slip out of their hands in the last over. One cannot help but remember the team which did so well in the 2002 Champions trophy in Sri Lanka and the 2003 world cup in South Africa. Hopefully, this team will go onto better things.

Voices Within...

I seem to have a major problem here. My mind is endlessly at war. With my mind. I just can't seem to shut out the voices in my head which keep talkin among themselves every frickin time. I mean, hey, gimme a break! Im tryin to lead a normal happy go frickin lucky life here. But no.. I have to be reminded of my past failures, disappointments, heartbreaks, doubts, fears of whats to come, indecision... And it just does not stop.

So, is it normal? I dunno, but it sure doesnt seem so. And in these times of doubts and wavering goals, it seems to have reached a crescendo.

I gotta get a shrink....

A Thousand Splendid Suns

The moment i saw Khalid Hosseini's second book on the stands, i knew i wanted to read it. Thanks to a good friend of mine, i managed to land up a copy of it on my birthday. Expectations were high because of his wonderful first book, The Kite Runner.
My emotions while i was reading this book, and on completing it was surreal, to say the least. One thing that has to be very clear is that it is a very depressing book at times. But, then, you feel its a depression you have to try and understand. That these kinds of lives are being played out in a million homes around the world. That to close your senses to this book, is a crime, in a way.
So, does it surpass his previous work? In a nutshell, i would say, yes, it does. While the Kite Runner was also a story which had its roots in Afghanistan, it was at times, an adventure story. This book, though, is a stark and unflinching look at the lives of two women in war torn Afghanistan. The book opens with 15 year old Mariam living in a kolba outside city limits. She is the harami daughter of a rich person in the city. Circumstances force her to marry Rasheed, a widower, and move to Kabul. Rasheed, a staunch believer in age old customs, starts getting increasingly violent towards her. In the same neighbourhood lives Laila, whose parents have a more modernistic outlook towards life. Tragic circumstances force Laila to join Mariam's household. While the hardships continue, the women form an unbreakable bond, which allows them to get through all the hardships they have to face.
The story does get too melodramatic at times, but you realise there is a message here. That behind every burqa, there lies a million stories. Stories of pain, suffering, dreams... The melodrama does seem justified here. The book also paints a vivid picture of Afghanistan, and how that country has been at an endless war for the last few decades.
Redemption is alsways a recurring theme in Hosseini's books. Even here, past the suffering, the pain and the ravages of war, finally, there is hope again. This is a book i highly recommend to anyone. If not for anything else, atleast for an amazing character study of two unbelievably brave women.

I...

Well actually... I dont know what i am writing about. This blog is my attempt to break my duck for the last 6 months on this page. Right now i am absolutely inspired to write something. Problem is, i dunno wat. So maybe i can write about my lunch today. Which was nothing special. I had my perrenial favorite in the Infy food courts, the egg noodles served by the Tamanna canteen. I had lunch with Vandana as usual. Probably irritated her too, as usual. Which is okay i gez, since yesterday she had sent off a mail to my colleagues sayin that i got engaged! (I am still getting compliments).
I could write about the fact that i had a slight fever yesterday, which actually scared me no end, since i have to go on a much awaited pleasure trip tonorrow to Delhi and Goa with my hommie from college, Arun and his American boss. But then again, it doesnt seem too interesting right now.
And now, when i so seriously want to discuss the problems besetting this world of ours, my gal pal from college, Sangeetha, has interrupted me! Talk about problems!
Hmm.. Well, the last movie i saw was the Insider on my laptop. Now that was a good flick. An amazing drama. Excellent performances, not just from Russell Crowe and Al Pacino, but from an excellent supporting cast. Micheal Mann is a director whose movies impress me no end. Even his supposedly 'worst movie', Miami Vice. I absolutely loved it. And of course, if tobacco companies actually do what is mentioned in the movie, it is a MAJOR problem. Although i feel a bit hypocritical now, since i am a smoker myself, but there you are.
Well, i did get inspired to write after coming across my philosopher pal's blog (privatesofthecarribean.blogspot.com). The idyllic environs of Sleepy little Thrissur seems to have brought out the writer in him. Although there was a part i did not totally agree with. In one post of his, he has mentioned that one of the things he likes the most about Kerala is the people. Somehow, for me, the thing i like the most of the place is the amazingly pristine beauty the land offers. Sometimes you feel that God has taken residence for good in this part of the world, and forsaken the rest of the world. The PEOPLE, on the other hand, have always, i have felt, taken this for granted. Its not that the land is so beautiful because of them, rather, in spite of them. Of course, i am not totally against them, but then, that old adage i heard somewhere, comes to mind.. Gods Own Country with the Devils own People...

And therein lies a long story...

Diamonds are forever...or so they say..

Last night, me and a buddy went to catch the late nite show of Blood Diamond. Though i had already seen it once, it was a testament to how much i liked the flick, that i decided to watch the late nite show, despite it being a dreary weekday, and an episode with the ever endearing auto drivers of Pune on the cards..

The movie has already entered my pantheon of great movies i have watched. i guess i should have paid more heed to the directing credits. One of Edward Zwicks previous flicks, 'Courage Under Fire' , starring my personal fave, Denzel Washington, also happens to be one of my fave movies. But this one was definitely more powerful. The beauty of the Sierra Leone landscape has been interspersed seamlessly with the gore that has become commonplace in that country, and probably in that continent. Like they say..TIA..'This is Africa'.. The opening sequence of the RUF rebels coming and laying waste the village to which Soloman Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) belongs, sets the tone for the rest of the movie, which manages to spread the message of the illegal diamond trading that cost locals their lives, while at the same time, keeping you at the edge of your seats as a slick action thriller.

Leonardo DiCaprio..for the first time (yes, not even in the Departed), looks like a tough guy. though i never had any doubts about his acting chops, his baby face made me skeptical about him in these kind of roles. But, boy did he carry it off well. I still feel like sayin to everyone. 'Ma man'..in the Rhodesian accent he portrays in the movie. This movie should finally, atleast for me, lay to rest his Titanic image. Before i saw the movie, i was wondering if they gave him the Oscar nomination for the wrong movie(i was expecting him to get it for the Departed)..but this is definitely a more worthy performance.

The other stars in the cast also give stellar performances. Djimon Hounsou is perfectly believable as the tough yet simple village fisherman, who just wants his family back. Jennifer Connelly, apart from looking ravishing, seems to be perfectly cast..

The movie has a number of poignant sequences..when Leonardo's Danny Archer finally breaks down and says 'Sometimes i wonder if God would ever forgive us for what we've done.. But then i realise, God left this place a long time ago..'
Or the scene when Archer is leaving and Connelly gives him, just a glance..but a glance which conveyed a lifetime of longing..Archer's response? 'some other life, maybe'..

Even the bad guy had some great lines..'You may think I'm a devil..but only because i have lived in hell'..

This is one for my all time faves..Whenz the DVD comin?

Nostalgia..

Ah...Nostalgia.. A wonderful feelin at times. Today, as another one of my close pals in my project area leaves for pastures new and greener, i am left wondering.. What of it all? Life... We come in touch with so many people. A few leave their indelible imprints within us. A few leave scars. But at the end of the day, they all contribute to a maelstrom of emotions that run within our minds. How many of our lasting memories involve people we may not even be in touch with anymore? If you can say none or very few, well, u'v done a better job of keepin up with your pals than me, i guess. Although, it is not for want of effort. Recently i have managed to trace out some friends of mine, with whom i lost touch around 12 years ago. Now that is a lot of time... Of course, not that we've once again become the best of buddies, but i had to satisfy that thirst in me, to find out just where these people who meant a lot to me at one point, ended up..

But, then again..is that one of the bittersweet aspects of being nostalgic? Does the fact that we dont even really know what the people we are thinkin og are upto, add to the romance of nostalgia? Sometimes, i do think so. I believe, its the romantics who can actually get nostalgic..more than the others.. (And no, i am not some hopeless romantic, about to whine away my frustrations here)..

At the end of the day, everytime a person who has left a mark on me leaves, i feel a pang somewhere.. It hurts a bit. Sometimes i wonder.. what if... i dont see this person again? For me, its a mind boggling thought.. the prospect of not seeing a person you knew till yesterday, ever again.. It happened when i left college. When i was sayin goodbye to certain people..i just knew.. i wont be seein them again..

Then again..every experience is to be cherished. Like one of my best pals, and a person i like a lot, says.. 'No experience is not worth having. Cherish evertything that went by you and everything that is to come'... That according to me, sums up life very well...

After all, you aint gonna be around forever. So u might as well make the most of what you have...

Loser?!

The other day, i had gone to the post office to personally pick up the second admit card i got for CAT. Ofcourse, me being the egoistic self loving screwup i am, i figured the reason they sent me two admit cards was coz they didnt want this bright prospect slipping throught their hands!!! I guess i sort of missed out the fine print at the bottom which said that the arlier admit card stands cancelled due to an error in printing of address. Luckily(or unluckily?) for me, one of my roomies didnt miss it, and dutifully pointed it out to me. Shucks...just when i thought im entering the CAT hall of famers.... On the other hand, i guess it was good he did so, else i most probably wouldnt have noticed it, and i probably woulda looked like a fool entering the hall with two admit cards!!

Anyways..as me and a certain pal of mine(i am hiding his name as i dont want all the frustrated dudes out there to zero in on him!) were returning from the post office, we stopped for brekky at a nice restaurant. So suddenly, he goes "Man..girls are selfish! They only look for money!".
Now, considering the fact that i am coming off a pretty bad recent experience with a member of the opposite sex, i gez u can understand my apprehension at entering this very potentially sensitive area.. But, anywayz... we go on. And finally he comes out with a statement..

"man, i dont wanna go for an arranged marriage... Thats for losers"

Now i dont know about u... but that has to be one of the best arguments iv heard in the neverending argument on love or arranged!!! or atleast, wat i feel.. the point was put across with such finality and simplicity! Sheer Poetry!!!!!!!!

Oh...and btw...the person in question is still single....