Hate.Anger

Hate.Anger.Depression. Can there be any worse a confluence of emotions than these three?But that is what is raging within my insides and my mind now. It makes me numb at times. My mind becomes frozen with hate. I know. It may be unreasonable and downright stupid. But why do i have a feeling that i have a right to it? That somewhere along the line, i was played with? Yesterday, in the pure torture for 2 and a frickin half hours of the so called mock CAT, as i was sitting there with nothing to do, my mind was suddenly overflowing with the confluence of these three emotions.. Rage overpowered me fo rsome time. But, like everything else in life, this too shall pass. Or i hope it will. Everybody has a reason for their actions. I hope i will understand them at a later phase of my life. Because, at the end of the day, i want to forgive and forget. Or maybe, be forgiven. I dont know. Maybe i was also wrong. I probably was, actually. Still...

A phrase given at the beginning of that classic saga, 'The Thorn Birds', comes to mind. Although i do not remember enough toreproduce it verbatim here, it talks of a bird, which from the moment it is born, keeps flyimg till it finds the perfect thorn on which it will impale itself. Once it does, it gives out its wail of agony, which is supposed to be the most beautiful sound heard across the land. We are like that at times. We know beforehand that doing something may crush us. But we still do it. And we still live on...