Mondays!!!

Mondays.....no matter how much u try to stay away...they keep comin back at ya..For some time now, the monday blues have been affectin me quite a bit. Dunno whether its just because of my present disillusionments or just coz im plain startin to get sick of office... That feelin in the pit of my stomach has stil not gone away. Though these days, strangely, it seems to have receded at least a tiny wee bit..The only worry i have is that i feel like havin a smoke every mornin wen i get up. It seems to lessen that sinking feelin. But that is not good now, is it? Letting ur mental well being depend upon a stick of tobacco with 'a fool at one end and smoke at the other' (so they say...what do they know??)
But then again, like it says in Shantaram...' When anyone asks me why i smoke...I smoke because like everyone else in the world who smokes, i want to die atleast as much as i want to live' (anther one of my favorites...cant seem to get over that book...i think i gotta devote an entire post just to it...)
But, then again, why is that sinking feeling diminishing? Nothing has really happened...Or is it that i am unconsciously letting go? Finally..i dunno... All i know is that its not the way i want it to end.. This will probably have lifelong repercussions for me. I think i have been scarred by this in a way that i really cant explain....

Well....since certain cartoons around here(namely Rivas(a.k.a privatesofthecarribean.blogspot.com(check it out)) have broken my very intellectual train of thoughts, i gez il be signin off here..)